It's HLWN SZN, ya'll! And as such, here come the lists of all things related to HALLOWEEN! Up first - what your candy choices say about you! Take a look at this list and let me know what you think about this...
TINY CANDY BARS — These say that you care about Halloween and traditions and children and family values and all that great American stuff, but you don’t care too much. You’re doing your duty and, while you’re happy to do it, you’re not going to go over the top or anything.
SWEET TARTS — Well, it’s not just Sweet Tarts but anything non-chocolate based like Skittles or Starburst or Lifesavers or something like that. Like the person who gives out the little “party sized” treat, you’re into Halloween and doing your duty, but you want everyone to think that you’re a little bit wacky and craaazy.
CANDY CORN — Who gives out candy corn to trick or treaters? Yes, it is the traditional seasonal treat, but you don’t give it out to kids so it gets all clumpy and gross at the bottom of their trick or treat bags. That’s nasty. Just put it in a dish on your desk or your coffee table or something. This just means that you’re way too into Halloween but don’t know what kids like.
TOOTSIE ROLLS — Tootsie Rolls are the little black dress of Halloween candy. No one goes out and buys Tootsie Rolls normally, but then when you get them at someone’s house and you get home and eat them, you’re so happy that someone gave them to you. They’re simple and different and classic and always great.
LOLLIPOPS — Lollipops are always the only thing left at the store on the afternoon before Halloween, because they’re sort of lame and kind of an afterthought. You are the kind of person who really feels like he has to give out Halloween candy but you’re either too busy or lazy to get to the store before the last possible second, so you have to buy the only thing left, so you get two bags of Dum Dums and hope that the kids will like the mystery flavor because, you’re sorry, but this is all you had left and it’s going to have to do.
FULL CANDY BARS — You’re showing off… but if you can afford it, go for it.
ANYTHING OTHER THAN CANDY — If you pull out some pennies or pencils or McDonald’s gift certificates or that fudge you make that everyone in the office says is really amazing or, God forbid, apples, then you are an awful person who should just shut off your light, shun the world, and enjoy your reruns of Castle on DVR.
HERSEY KISSES — You’re really more of a Christmas person, aren’t you?