♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You attract people who are obsessed with your confidence but can’t handle your chaos. They say they want a bold, fearless partner — then get mad when you actually have opinions.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): You attract the clingy type who loves your stability but mistakes your chill for availability. You’re basically emotional comfort food — everyone wants a bite.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): You attract people who think they can “figure you out,” which is hilarious. They fall for your charm, stay for your humor, and leave once they realize there’s three of you.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): You attract the broken ones — people who see your nurturing energy and go, “yeah, fix me.” You’re not a rehab center, you’re just really good at loving people through their mess.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): You attract the emotionally unavailable. They love your sparkle but secretly hope to dim it. Joke’s on them — you’re solar powered, babe.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): You attract people who need a life coach, not a partner. You see potential, they see free therapy — and yet somehow, you still think you’re the problem.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You attract the indecisive flirts who match your energy too well. It’s giving “we like each other but neither of us will say it,” followed by years of vague situationship vibes.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You attract people who crave intensity until they actually get it. You’re magnetic — they chase you like a mystery novel, then panic when they realize they’re the plot twist.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): You attract people who think they can tame you. They love your adventurous spirit until they realize “spontaneous” also means “emotionally unavailable.”
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You attract people who love the idea of your ambition but can’t keep up. They call you intimidating — you call it having standards.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): You attract the deep thinkers… or the ones who just want to be your next sociology experiment. Everyone thinks they “get you” — spoiler alert: they don’t.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): You attract the walking red flags disguised as poets. They love your softness until you stop romanticizing their chaos — then suddenly you’re the villain.