♈️ ARIES:
You can’t stop thinking about that one text you didn’t get a reply to. Even though you pretended to “let it go,” your FBI brain has created 6 fake scenarios and all of them end in war. Rot level: spicy delusion.
♉️ TAURUS:
Your brain is rotting from decision fatigue. You’ve been staring at the same 4 food delivery apps for 45 minutes, just to end up eating crackers and rage-napping. Again.
♊️ GEMINI:
You remembered something embarrassing you said in 2017 and now your brain is buffering like a dial-up modem. You’re overthinking conversations you haven’t even had yet. Stop time traveling.
♋️ CANCER:
Your crush liked someone else’s IG story and now you’re spiraling in your Notes app like it’s a diary from 2004. You’re fine. Totally fine. (No, you're not.)
♌️ LEO:
Your brain is rotting from lack of attention. You posted a fire selfie and it didn’t get enough likes, so now you’ve convinced yourself the algorithm is shadowbanning you out of jealousy.
♍️ VIRGO:
You accidentally saw one crooked picture frame and now your brain is infected with a virus called “must fix everything in the world immediately or I’ll combust.” Take a nap, soldier.
♎️ LIBRA:
Someone asked you “What’s wrong?” and you said “Nothing,” but now you’re lowkey mad they didn’t ask again. Your brain is rotting from passive aggression and imaginary scenarios.
♏️ SCORPIO:
You opened up emotionally one time and now your brain is like “we will never do that again.” You’re trying to control your feelings through memes and sarcasm. We see you.
♐️ SAGITTARIUS:
You said yes to too many things, and now you’re double-booked, overcommitted, and pretending you’re chill. You’re not chill. You’re hanging on by a thread and five iced coffees.
♑️ CAPRICORN:
You sent one slightly unhinged email and now you’re spiraling about professionalism. But also, you hate everyone at your job. Your brain is rotting from your own inner manager.
♒️ AQUARIUS:
You tried to “detach” and “be unbothered,” but now your thoughts are doing the cha-cha at 3am. You're rewatching TikToks for validation instead of processing emotions. Brain = scrambled.
♓️ PISCES:
You listened to one sad song and suddenly you’re in a montage about a life that isn’t even yours. Your brain is rotting from fantasy overload and unchecked feelings. Again.