♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19):
You procrastinate by speed-running literally everything 5 minutes before the deadline—chaotic, confident, and somehow still kinda iconic. Your motto? “I work best under extreme pressure and emotional distress.”
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20):
You procrastinate by romanticizing your to-do list with candles, a playlist, and snacks… and then falling asleep halfway through step one. You’ll get to it after your third emotional support break.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20):
You procrastinate by starting 14 things at once and finishing none of them. You're deep in an internet rabbit hole learning useless facts, but somehow it still feels productive.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22):
You procrastinate by overthinking every tiny step and then spiraling into self-doubt. Eventually, you convince yourself the task is bullying you and go take a “quick” nap instead.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22):
You procrastinate by making a whole production out of not doing the thing. You’ll vlog it, outfit change, maybe even give a TED Talk—anything but actually get started.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22):
You procrastinate by doing everything but the task. You don't clean... but you do when you have something important to do. That one email? Still sitting in drafts with three revised versions.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22):
You procrastinate by asking everyone what they think you should do… and then doing neither option. Decisions are hard, OK? You need a mood board and a 20-minute playlist first.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21):
You procrastinate by pretending the task doesn’t exist—like full ghost mode. But when the pressure hits? You suddenly become the most focused person alive at 2 a.m. with lo-fi beats blasting.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21):
You procrastinate by convincing yourself the task is beneath you and going on a “mental wellness” adventure instead. You'll circle back when Mercury's in retrograde or whatever.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19):
You procrastinate by… lowkey working on five future projects to avoid the one due today. It's giving “delusional productivity,” but at least your 2026 vision board is done.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18):
You procrastinate by spiraling into an existential crisis about why we even work in the first place. You’ve already created a Google Doc on “late-stage capitalism” but haven’t answered that one text.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20):
You procrastinate by daydreaming about a version of you who already finished everything. In your mind, the task is already done. In reality… you’re still in bed watching comfort TikToks.