On Thursday night, Ariana Grande accepted her Billboard Woman of the Year award by saying 2018 "has been one of the best years of my career and the worst of my life," People reports.
“I think a lot of people would look at someone in my position right now…and think, ‘She’s really got her s**t together,’ Ya know?" the pop star continued.
"Like, ‘She’s really on it.’ Like, ‘She’s got it all.’ I do, but as far as my personal life goes, I really have no idea what the f**k I’m doing, so yeah, it’s been a very conflicting one.”
Grande later nearly started crying as she said she's "really looking forward to embracing whatever happens; whatever comes my way" and added, “I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I’ve given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself hopefully this year."